i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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