I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
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