if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
