We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
