Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
and you fell through a lawn chair
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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