My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
