While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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