Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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