Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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