Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
