I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
