So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
