We're like a lot better than the average bears
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
