I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
