I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
