he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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