You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
