Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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