its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Floor bacon is actually really good
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
