Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
