Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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