This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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