It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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