forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I currently don't understand fingers.
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