y did u give ur computer a hand job?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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