It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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