If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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