the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
