It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
