well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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