it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
