Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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