k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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