i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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