should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
