Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
