Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
