Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
