I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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