somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
should my penis look like a turkey
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize