Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think I sprained my soul last night
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
