Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
