If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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