Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My feet surprised me
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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