I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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