State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
