Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The air was thick with penises
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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