We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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