taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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