Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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